Relationships, part 17

Gerald,

There was a time that I thought you were the one. There was a time that I thought you could be my boyfriend, my husband, my lover, my spouse, my power of attorney, my widow. There was a time that talking to you every day brought me joy, it brought me happiness. There was a time when I looked forward to talking to you, to gaming with you every day, to hearing your voice, to seeing your face. But now I don’t feel like I’m looking at the same person, I don’t feel like I mean anything to you anymore. I don’t understand what’s changed, what’s happened.

I didn’t think it was appropriate for you to send me snapchats of you and your boyfriend in bed together and I also thought it was a little tacky for you to send me snapchats while you were out doing stuff together. It was almost like you were rubbing it in my face that you had a boyfriend but I was still single. Speaking of snapchat, I found your excessive use of it (instead of carrying on a normal conversation like a normal person) to be very annoying. At least that’s one thing I’ll never have to deal with again.

Thanks for ruining The Smashing Pumpkins for me and I hope you can find people willing to put up with your stupidity enough to game with you in Destiny 2 and Killing Floor 2. If anyone between the two of us should be angry, it should be me. You pretty much just up and left me behind on consoles to go do PC gaming instead. I guess my friendship just wasn’t good enough for you, was it? You’re just like every other faggot I’ve ever met on the internet, only interested in me for my looks and once you got tired of looking at that you moved on. Typical.

Oh, and the beginning of the year when I was sick as fuck for like 3 months and you were being really pissy and annoying because you wanted to carry on a full on conversation when all I wanted and needed to do was rest and sleep? Fuck you for that too. I’m beginning to think that maybe the Canadians in Quebec and Nova Scotia are the only decent ones because the further west you travel the more you guys turn into assholes (just like Americans). I used to think your ex was an asshole for leaving you, but now I’m beginning to think that maybe he had the right idea. You’re just an asshole, plain and simple. If you wanted to know how I felt about you, you could have asked instead of making assumptions and spreading lies. Yes, there was a time that I liked you and thought you might have been the one, but that changed when I realized you’re a fucking drunk just like Jeffery was, and any hope I had for you died when you told me you used MDMA. I’m certainly not going to have anything to do with a drug addict, so why don’t you do everyone a favor and either overdose or get clean before you hurt someone else’s feelings.

I’m leaving you in 2017 with the rest of the trash. Goodbye and good luck.

Alanis Morissette – You Learn

Oh, oh, oh

I, recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone, yeah
I, recommend walking around naked in your living room, yeah

Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles

You live you learn, you love you learn
You cry you learn, you lose you learn
You bleed you learn, you scream you learn

I, recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I, recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time
Feel free

Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)
You wait and see when the smoke clears

You live you learn, you love you learn
You cry you learn, you lose you learn
You bleed you learn, you scream you learn

I, I, oh, oh

Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do)
Melt it down (you’re gonna have to eventually, anyway)
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend

You live you learn, you love you learn
You cry you learn, you lose you learn
You bleed you learn, you scream you learn

You grieve you learn, you choke you learn
You laugh you learn, you choose you learn
You pray you learn, you ask you learn
You live you learn

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Gaming Goals in 2018 – Update 2

And now…

  • Participate in the ’52 games in a year’ challenge to see how many I can finish.  Last year I think I clocked in somewhere in the 30-40 range.
  • Get 100% in Super Mario Odyssey
  • Finish routes C, D and E in Nier: Automata (even though I already know how the game ends) and maybe work toward the platinum.
  • Finish finding all the Korok Seeds and Shrines in Breath of the Wild and maybe give Master Mode a shot (though I doubt I’ll have the patience to stick with it).  Might also revisit the Champion’s Ballad DLC.
  • Start a New Game+ playthrough for Horizon Zero Dawn, Final Fantasy 15, and the DS version of Chrono Trigger (gotta get the rest of those endings!)
  • Play more retro games!  I’ve started rebuilding my collection, so I think it’s time to give those old games a replay and see how I feel about them after all these years.
  • Start a fresh game of Fallout 4 with all the DLC.
  • Play more PSVR games!  Hopefully I’ll be able to overcome my bouts of motion sickness soon.

Bleh.  Played a few more VR games/demos over the last 24 hours.  Played the demo for The Last Guardian VR and the rat/bird thing freaks me out.  Played the demo for Tiny Trax and I hate the steering controls so I don’t think I’m going to buy it after all, and finally I also played the demo for Fantastic Contraption.  I didn’t think it was all that much fun but maybe a price drop will convince me to buy it.  The 2 demos that I did enjoy were Moss and Star Child.  Both are amazing 3D platformers in VR and I can’t wait for them to be released.  Definitely day one purchases.  The only other VR game I played from start to finish was Gnog.  It’s an enjoyable little puzzle game about solving puzzles that are in the shape of boxes.  I’m sure that playing it in 2D isn’t as detailed as the VR but it’s still a lot of fun either way.  Now that I’ve beaten the game, I’m going to lay down.  Apparently my VR nausea hasn’t worn off.

What I’m Playing, part 24

Infamous: Second Son

Four years ago, Infamous Second Son was released during the PlayStation 4’s first year.  I had never seen anything like it at the time and thought the game was fun and amazing.  I enjoyed the destructibility of the environment and the fluidity with which Delsin moves about with the smoke dash and later on, his neon dash.  I was all set for Infamous to be my first PS4 platinum when tragedy struck.

One night of marathon gaming while playing Second Son I had unlocked several trophies and when time came for me to call it quits from exhaustion, I went to sync my trophies only to be met with an error and was forced to start over from scratch re-unlocking everything that I had already done.  At first I was horrified thinking that all the trophies were glitched and that my efforts were in vain, but once I started re-unlocking everything that I had done it put my mind at ease.  I had finished 2 playthroughs in a row:  one as good Delsin on normal difficulty and one as evil Delsin on Expert difficulty.  The good playthrough was the one where I “lost” some of my trophies and had to start over from scratch.  This was also the point where I just totally ragequit the game altogether.

Fast forward to 2018.  Since I am riding on the natural high from collecting all 900 Korok Seeds in Breath of the Wild and solving all 120 Shrines, I figured I might as well go back and finish one of the things in my backlog that’s bothered me since it happened.  I’m currently at good karma level 3 and working my way toward the first trophy I need – reaching level 5 good karma – fairly quickly.  The only other trophy I need is where I redeem Fetch once I find her.

As far as gameplay goes, this game isn’t as glamorous as I remember it.  Delsin still moves about rather fluidly, but I had forgotten that he’s not indestructible when it comes to combat.  I also had forgotten just how janky his movements are when it comes to climbing up walls.  This rendition of Seattle is just as cool as I remember it, and I still wonder why the city is rarely used as a setting (the only other thing I can think of right off the bat that used Seattle as a setting is the Shadowrun tabletop RPG).  I was stoked this time around because I found the infamous wall of chewed gum!

For future reference, the wall of gum can be found here.

I like how the weather and time of day changed based on the chapter you’re on in the main story.  The first chapter with rain was rather relaxing and the second one where the sunset is perpetual is pretty.

After a few hours, and a little bit of a scare (I thought I had progressed far enough to unlock the trophy but I hadn’t), I managed to unlock one of the two trophies I needed for the Platinum.

I love Fetch’s power!  But trying to subdue enemies with it is still as irritating as I remember it being.  I also love the infinite running at the speed of light ability.  It’s so fluid and quick.  It definitely has me ruined as far as traversal powers/abilities in other games are concerned.  I mean, it’s not often that you get the ability to straight up run up a wall, am I right?

Very cool scene but also very sad at the same time.

After reaching something like the game’s midway point in the story and a little more grinding, my for year long quest was finally at it’s end:

Platinum trophy #8 is finally mine.  Until next time Seattle, stay cool.

  • % of trophies at the time of writing according to PSN: 100% including the Platinum

PlayStation 2017 Year in Review

Got a really cool email last month from PlayStation that tracked my gaming throughout 2017.  So without further adieu, here’s 2017 by the numbers:

January 2, 2017 – first game played was The Division and the first trophy I earned was Medic!

Over the course of 2017 I played 1,882 hours on PS4 across 152 games.  The most progress was in March with 214 hours of gameplay.

The top 3 games I played across 2017 were:

  1. Destiny with 373 hours
  2. Destiny 2 with 327 hours
  3. Minecraft with 306 hours

(Geez, no wonder I can’t get anything in my backlog finished)

The top genre I played was First Person Shooter (thank you captain obvious)

I earned a total of 628 trophies all year.  453 Bronze, 132 Silver, 41 Gold and 2 Platinum (fail) but that does put me in the top 10% of all PlayStation trophy earners, so I guess there’s that.  June was my highest trophy earning month with 114 trophies earned.  The first Platinum trophy I earned in 2017 was in The Division.  I earned 628 trophies in 2017 versus 385 in 2016.

Most played online game was The Division.

Gonna be tough to beat that lineup in 2018, but I’ll give it my best shot.

Relationships, part 16

So a few Saturdays ago I got a friend request from one of my nephews. I know for a fact I blocked him once before so it seems he made a new account. I had toyed with the idea of opening a dialogue to see what he wanted…but I was hesitant.

I’ve been an uncle since birth. He’s a year older than me and his brother is a year younger than me. The 3 of us were pretty much inseparable until our teenage years when self discovery started. THAT was when the drift started. When my sister outed me, I don’t think it helped.

After seeking the advice of friends, people on Facebook and a mostly ignored plea on Instagram, I decided to go ahead and take the next step and talk to him.  This was the beginning of a conversation that I’ve had a feeling in my gut was coming for some time.  I’ve been having thoughts/feelings about my biological family for a while now because I had a feeling that maybe, just maybe, not all of them were against me.  It could also be the creeping realization that age is catching up to us all and there’s only so much time we have left.

Some of my more prominent memories of this guy aren’t exactly pleasant ones, so I decided to err on the side of caution and message him anyway, but with contingencies in mind.  So far everything has been fine and the conversations have been civil.  I’m just wondering about a few things that he said during our conversations.

He wants me to meet his new wife, Angel.  I’m not opposed to the idea, but I’m not really thrilled with it either.  After I worked up the courage to ask him what happened with the other girl he married – Hayley – he told me that after 9 years she cheated on him.  That definitely opened up a flood gate of emotions when I told him I’d been cheated on twice.  That was when I outed myself to him.  He asked if I was currently seeing anyone and I said yes, his name is Matt.  He seemed cool with it and didn’t freak out about it or anything.  I told him that I was glad that he didn’t flip out over and his response is what I’ve been mulling over since he said it:

“Hell no man I’m not going to freak out on ya. That’s who you are and we wouldn’t have it any other way.  No judgement here.  From any of us.”
So does ‘we’ mean just him and Angel, or is he speaking for our whole family?  Was this all just a huge misunderstanding from the get go and I’ve been living with the assumption that I’m not liked by my family?  I don’t know.  I also really don’t know if I want to even bother finding out.  How the fuck do you establish a dialogue with a group of people that you haven’t seen or spoken to in nearly 20 years?  If in fact I’ve been mistaken all this time, then perhaps the record should show that maybe I was wrong.  And if in fact, that’s not the case and I’m just looking at things through rose colored glasses, then perhaps trying to establish a dialogue or even seeing my family again after all this time is possibly the worst idea I’ve ever had.
For the time being, I’m going to keep the dialogue with him open and hope for the best.

Gaming Goals in 2018 – Update 1

Oh my god…

  • Participate in the ’52 games in a year’ challenge to see how many I can finish.  Last year I think I clocked in somewhere in the 30-40 range.
  • Get 100% in Super Mario Odyssey
  • Finish routes C, D and E in Nier: Automata (even though I already know how the game ends) and maybe work toward the platinum.
  • Finish finding all the Korok Seeds and Shrines in Breath of the Wild and maybe give Master Mode a shot (though I doubt I’ll have the patience to stick with it).  Might also revisit the Champion’s Ballad DLC.
  • Start a New Game+ playthrough for Horizon Zero Dawn, Final Fantasy 15, and the DS version of Chrono Trigger (gotta get the rest of those endings!)
  • Play more retro games!  I’ve started rebuilding my collection, so I think it’s time to give those old games a replay and see how I feel about them after all these years.
  • Start a fresh game of Fallout 4 with all the DLC.
  • Play more PSVR games!  Hopefully I’ll be able to overcome my bouts of motion sickness soon.

Finding all the Seeds and Shrines took me a solid 2 weeks.  After all is said and done, there ended up only being 8 or 9 types of “puzzles” to finding the Seeds.  And finding all the Shrines wasn’t so bad until I got down to the one where I had to ride a stag to the plate to open the door.  Now I think I’m going to take a long break from Zelda and play other stuff.  I’ll come back eventually and continue the Champion’s Ballad DLC when I’m feeling the itch.

Also, my 52 games for the year challenge isn’t off to the greatest start as I’ve only finished Gorogoa on Nintendo Switch.  I’ve had a lot going on outside my gaming that I’ll eventually get around to posting if I can find time.

Gaming Goals in 2018

With 2017 behind us, it’s time for me to start thinking ahead to 2018 and the things in gaming that I want to achieve this year.  I haven’t gotten in as much gaming in the last couple months as I would have liked thanks to the holidays, but now that winter is upon us maybe I can get back into the groove.  I’ve compiled a list of things that I want to do this year, and it doesn’t sound like I’m going to be bored!  Here we go:

  • Participate in the ’52 games in a year’ challenge to see how many I can finish.  Last year I think I clocked in somewhere in the 30-40 range.
  • Get 100% in Super Mario Odyssey
  • Finish routes C, D and E in Nier: Automata (even though I already know how the game ends) and maybe work toward the platinum.
  • Finish finding all the Korok Seeds and Shrines in Breath of the Wild and maybe give Master Mode a shot (though I doubt I’ll have the patience to stick with it).  Might also revisit the Champion’s Ballad DLC.
  • Start a New Game+ playthrough for Horizon Zero Dawn, Final Fantasy 15, and the DS version of Chrono Trigger (gotta get the rest of those endings!)
  • Play more retro games!  I’ve started rebuilding my collection, so I think it’s time to give those old games a replay and see how I feel about them after all these years.
  • Start a fresh game of Fallout 4 with all the DLC.
  • Play more PSVR games!  Hopefully I’ll be able to overcome my bouts of motion sickness soon.

I’ll post updates through out the year marking my progress toward this list.  Stay tuned!