Summer 2016

Good god, it’s been a while.  I don’t even know where to start, so I guess I’ll just write as thoughts come to me.

I’ve been working my ass off since June 11th.  I’ve had about 3 days off since then, counting today.

We finally switched over to computerized inventory tracking at work last month.  I took to it quickly, some of the others…not so much.  It really started to piss me off that others were coming to me for help while the people who were training us to use the system were still there.  It’s what they were getting paid to do, so why not ask them?

One of our coworkers, Gerald Davis, quit and walked out this past Thursday night after working there for 40+ years.  I’m still trying to figure out why and what happened.

That damn post from Bears and Video Games where Marshal (a.k.a. Potential #2) commented that he was dating a game developer finally got to me and I confronted him about it.  I wish I had just kept my mouth shut.  Turns out that he wasn’t in a relationship with anyone at all, just holding out hope for a lost love with someone he knows.  I know how that stings and I could tell during the conversation that I upset him.  We’re still talking, though to me it just doesn’t feel the same anymore.  He still tells me that he loves me and I tell him the same, but I’m wondering where it’s going.  I don’t know if I’ll ever get to see him again, but I’m holding out hope that I do.

Speaking of dating, Potential #1, Gerry, bought a house in Winnipeg finally.  It’s a nice one too and I’m glad he likes it and found one that he likes.  If he’s still planning on moving here in the future, I hope it doesn’t turn out to be a financial nightmare for him.  I’d still love to have him in my life as my husband, still holding out hope for it, but at the same time trying not to rush things and not be pushy.  I’m still not sure he likes me as much as I like him or if he’s just afraid of getting hurt again like I am.  Sometime or other I’m just going to have to have an uncomfortable talk with him and see where things are.

Mirror’s Edge Catalyst, Mighty No. 9 and Star Ocean:  Integrity and Faithlessness all came out since my last post and E3 happened too.  There were a few games at E3 that I’m looking forward to, so there’s plenty of gaming in my future.  Mirror’s Edge and Star Ocean have been good to me so far, but I do have to admit that Mighty No. 9 was a disappointment and I ended up deleting it after a couple days because it’s just too damn difficult and after the Bloodborne disaster I just don’t feel like being put through that kind of shit again.

Speaking of Bloodborne, Alex and I haven’t had a chat on PSN since that day he pissed me off over it.  Wakes me up with messages and invites to go play the game and when I finally do wake up, he’s gotten the last few trophies for the game to get the platinum and deletes it from his PS4 while we’re talking.  I think he could tell that it made me angry, so he’s steered clear since then.  I’ve decided not to play anything else with him if things are going to turn out like that.  Buying The Old Hunters DLC was a definite waste of $20.  I guess I’m just a fool for thinking that other people are going to be as helpful and nice as me when it comes to trophy farming and gaming.

Some asshole killed 50 people in a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida.  That was all over the internet for about a week.  Out of all of them that were killed, the one that kills me the most is Mrs. McCool.  She was the mother of 11 children and beat cancer twice, only to be shot to death.  What the fuck?  The anti-gay backlash since the shooting and the endless rants about guns on Facebook has seriously started to wear me down.  All we want is to be left alone in peace and quiet to live our lives, but I fear it’s never going to happen.  It’s that same fear for life and living that fills me every time I think about Gerry coming to live here.  As much as it kills me to think it, he’s better off staying in Canada.  Maybe he will take mercy and let me come live with him should the presidential election here in November go south.

Jason has been going to therapy over everything that’s happened to him.  I’m glad he’s doing it and taking steps toward getting better.  I’d been living in fear that he might be next, and sometimes I still worry, but I’m slowly easing off that line of thinking.  I’m glad he’s leaning toward not listening to those wretched females that we call “friends” when they make suggestions about what he should do, and thinking for himself.  He’s been talking to someone new, so maybe in the future they will end up together and be happy.  I would like that for him, to be happy again.  I would like that for me as well, but, all in due time.