Relationships, part 10


After taking some advice from a gaming friend in New Zealand, I finally worked up the nerve to ask Potential #2 exactly where we stand.  His response was ‘bear buddies’ so I further clarified by asking ‘so we’re just friends?’ and he said ‘yeah’.  I kinda knew that’s where it was heading all along, but finally getting the answer I was looking for didn’t sting any less.  After reading his response, I grimaced and continued my walk of shame back to my work station.  I’m definitely going to give the box of Chai tea he left here to someone just to get it out of my house.

I don’t really know what to think or feel right now.  It’s been a shitty week all the way around, and this was just one of the many layers of the shit cake.  I worked a grand total of 65 hours, working 10 or 11 hours just about every day.  Had a falling out with another gaming friend from the UK over Bloodborne and we haven’t spoken since last Saturday.  And now this.

I suppose there are a few good things about it though.  I don’t have to worry anymore about trying to please him or make him happy.  Or impress him.  And at least he didn’t do me like Jeffery and wait until 2 years later to say something, so there’s that too.  This is probably the part where he and I just go our separate ways and honestly, I think that’s the thing that bugs me the most about it all.  Used for what he wanted and then tossed aside, just like all the others.  At least, that’s what it feels like even if that’s not what it is or was.

I guess if I’m going to get back into exercising / working out, I’ll have to find someone else to motivate me or try to find motivation within.